Every once in a while, I have my moments when I get ridiculously upset over something completely stupid. It doesn't happen often, but when it does I get this feeling deep down like I'm ready to just break out into a temper tantrum. I try not to let other people see me when I'm in these abnormally bad moods, but usually I do let myself vent it out in private, take a breather, realize it was a stupid thing to get upset at in the first place, and move on.
Today, that little thing had to do with football. One of the playoff games that I REALLY want to watch (Broncos vs. Patriots) is on at the exact same time as my company's (belated) holiday party this coming Saturday. I've heard nothing but good things about this party in the past (not to mention the fact that it's held at the Ritz), but the fact that it was getting in the way of football time really ticked me off. And apparently I HAVE to go to this thing. Ugh. That just shows you something about my personality - I'd much rather be at home or at a sports bar watching football than at a party at the Ritz.
While I was steaming over the oppressive working world making me go to this party, I was basically letting my temper build up more and more. That way I could just get my venting session over with and move on, especially since I knew that I was getting far too upset over something so small. But just as I was working up to my boiling point, I saw something that struck me back to reality in an instant.
I went onto Facebook and was scrolling through my news feed when I saw something I didn't expect. Someone had posted a status that the son of the offensive coordinator for the Packers had gone missing yesterday...and his body was found today. I looked into the story further, and sure enough, Joe Philbin's 21-year-old son Michael was gone. Here I was worrying about not being able to watch a football game when the games were probably the last thing on the mind of a football professional.
I moved past my moment of pure insanity, but it was not through the short session of rage I had originally expected. It was through a solemn reminder of what true pain and anguish really is. A life lost too young, a son lost too soon. While it's ok to be excited and passionate about our sports teams, we need to remember that behind those sports teams are real people that suffer real tragedies - more than just the loss of a game.
My condolences go out to the Philbin family and they are all in my thoughts and prayers.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
A Little Bit, A Lot of Times
I must admit that this year I didn't exactly take the time to come up with any sort of New Year's resolution. But I just had a minor stroke of genius that could actually pass for a New Year's resolution, so I'm just going to go with it, even if it is a few days late.
One of my biggest flaws in life is that I can still be a bit of a slob, even at 22 years old. Despite living with my semi-OCD, sickiningly-organized father for my entire life, my bedroom usually still looks like it's placed in the middle of Tornado Alley getting hit by F5 storms on a daily basis. For most of the summer, I wasn't too concerned, thinking that I would eventually find the time to spend a whole day or two just attacking my room full force and getting it clean. After all, I'd done it several times before. Unfortunately, life in the real world turned out to be much busier than I expected, and those full days that I planned to dedicate entirely to cleaning my room never came.
Several people had suggested that I just clean a little bit at a time, but I continuously brushed them aside. All previous attempts to follow that method had failed miserably, and I figured it wasn't even worth trying again (not to mention the fact that I usually like to follow the "go big or go home" way of doing things). But with such a lack of time and such a big mess, I just had to admit that I had a long war ahead of me and that I would have to fight it a battle at a time.
The first battle was getting and keeping my floor clean. I needed space, so one day I just said, "Screw it. Even if I get nothing else done, I have to get my floor clean." I successfully finished in a relatively short period of time, and I continued to clear my floor for a few minutes each day. Recently, I started a separate project on my desk. Each night I've been grabbing a small stack of papers off my desk and sorting them into a box by my bed, keep and trash, before going to sleep. It only took about 10 minutes a night, and shocker, my desk is already much smaller. A little bit a lot of times is actually working!
So tonight, I realized that I don't just have to apply this method to cleaning my room. One of the biggest things that's been bothering me lately is that I haven't had time to write - blog or journal - and I'm far too much out of practice. So rather than spending tons of time on my long and verbose entries, I'm thinking I'll write more posts that are smaller (even though this one is beginning to drag on). I'm not sure how interesting or well-written they'll be at the beginning, but hopefully it won't take long before I get back into the swing of things and I can tell better stories again. I also plan on applying this to other fun things in my life like working out, reading, sorting pictures, etc etc. I can already see progress in all of them!
So as it turns out, no matter what you're trying to achieve, a little bit is always better than nothing - and it always seems to pay off! Still don't think it could ever work? I just rolled a bunch of coins that I had lying around the house and I'm ready to head to the bank!
One of my biggest flaws in life is that I can still be a bit of a slob, even at 22 years old. Despite living with my semi-OCD, sickiningly-organized father for my entire life, my bedroom usually still looks like it's placed in the middle of Tornado Alley getting hit by F5 storms on a daily basis. For most of the summer, I wasn't too concerned, thinking that I would eventually find the time to spend a whole day or two just attacking my room full force and getting it clean. After all, I'd done it several times before. Unfortunately, life in the real world turned out to be much busier than I expected, and those full days that I planned to dedicate entirely to cleaning my room never came.
Several people had suggested that I just clean a little bit at a time, but I continuously brushed them aside. All previous attempts to follow that method had failed miserably, and I figured it wasn't even worth trying again (not to mention the fact that I usually like to follow the "go big or go home" way of doing things). But with such a lack of time and such a big mess, I just had to admit that I had a long war ahead of me and that I would have to fight it a battle at a time.
The first battle was getting and keeping my floor clean. I needed space, so one day I just said, "Screw it. Even if I get nothing else done, I have to get my floor clean." I successfully finished in a relatively short period of time, and I continued to clear my floor for a few minutes each day. Recently, I started a separate project on my desk. Each night I've been grabbing a small stack of papers off my desk and sorting them into a box by my bed, keep and trash, before going to sleep. It only took about 10 minutes a night, and shocker, my desk is already much smaller. A little bit a lot of times is actually working!
So tonight, I realized that I don't just have to apply this method to cleaning my room. One of the biggest things that's been bothering me lately is that I haven't had time to write - blog or journal - and I'm far too much out of practice. So rather than spending tons of time on my long and verbose entries, I'm thinking I'll write more posts that are smaller (even though this one is beginning to drag on). I'm not sure how interesting or well-written they'll be at the beginning, but hopefully it won't take long before I get back into the swing of things and I can tell better stories again. I also plan on applying this to other fun things in my life like working out, reading, sorting pictures, etc etc. I can already see progress in all of them!
So as it turns out, no matter what you're trying to achieve, a little bit is always better than nothing - and it always seems to pay off! Still don't think it could ever work? I just rolled a bunch of coins that I had lying around the house and I'm ready to head to the bank!
Sunday, October 2, 2011
The Never-Ending Tube of Toothpaste
About 3 or 4 weeks ago, I noticed that I was running rather low on toothpaste. Normally I wait until my brand is on sale to buy more, but I didn't think my remaining toothpaste would last more than a few days. I had already put the purchase off for a week, so I figured I would be pushing my luck if I waited any longer. So, I jumped the gun, went to CVS, and bought a two-pack of toothpaste at full price. I was so proud of myself that I had actually found the motivation to be prepared. I could rest easy knowing that I had a full supply of toothpaste and wouldn't have to run out to get more in the middle of the week when I was tired after work. Whew!
A week later, I was still using the same tube of toothpaste that had triggered my nerves and forced me to rush to the store. It was this same week that I noticed that my brand of toothpaste had just gone on sale. "Damn," I thought, "I could have held off a week and I would have been fine." Oh well, better safe than sorry. At least I didn't have to fight the stores in the middle of the week if I had run out.
As time went on, I was still using the same toothpaste. Day after day, I thought I was getting the last little bit out of the top of the tube, and yet there was always more. Oddly, rather than being happy that I still had toothpaste and wasn't wasting anything, I started getting frustrated - would it ever run out?! Well, a few nights ago, the anticipation of the end of my toothpaste finally got to me. I had to put a bit of effort into getting that night's portion out and thought, "Ha! It's finally finished!" But just to check, I gave it one more squeeze - and there was more! It just couldn't be! It wasn't possible!
I had officially snapped. Suddenly all of these possibilities of why the toothpaste didn't run out started buzzing through my mind. While these possibilities may have been partially fueled by exaustion and may make you feel the need to send me for a brain scan, maybe they'll at least be somewhat entertaining:
1. The gnomes did it! When I was at school, various items, particularly kitchen accessories, kept disappearing. My crazy roommates and I decided that there must be mischeivous gnomes that kept stealing everything. Well, I've decided that the toothpaste gnomes are just as mischeivous, but in a different way. Instead of stealing my toothpaste, they slowly just keep adding a little bit more when my tube is actually empty, just to mess with my head. *Nervous twitch*
2. It must be magic. I clearly was the lucky purchaser of a magical tube of toothpaste. Every time the user thinks that it is about to run out, it magically refills itself to provide just enough toothpaste for that particular cleaning. How thoughtful.
3. A diabolical plot by the toothpaste marketing people. Marketing people wanted to trick consumers into thinking they were running low on toothpaste all the time to get them to buy more. The toothpaste people realized that a tube was the best dispenser for their product, so it was a win-win for them...but a headache for consumers. Joy.
It's now a few days after I snapped from bewilderment, and I am still on the same tube of toothpaste. I think that I'm finally nearing the end, but at the rate I'm going, the gnomes are probably adding more toothpaste right this moment.
A week later, I was still using the same tube of toothpaste that had triggered my nerves and forced me to rush to the store. It was this same week that I noticed that my brand of toothpaste had just gone on sale. "Damn," I thought, "I could have held off a week and I would have been fine." Oh well, better safe than sorry. At least I didn't have to fight the stores in the middle of the week if I had run out.
As time went on, I was still using the same toothpaste. Day after day, I thought I was getting the last little bit out of the top of the tube, and yet there was always more. Oddly, rather than being happy that I still had toothpaste and wasn't wasting anything, I started getting frustrated - would it ever run out?! Well, a few nights ago, the anticipation of the end of my toothpaste finally got to me. I had to put a bit of effort into getting that night's portion out and thought, "Ha! It's finally finished!" But just to check, I gave it one more squeeze - and there was more! It just couldn't be! It wasn't possible!
I had officially snapped. Suddenly all of these possibilities of why the toothpaste didn't run out started buzzing through my mind. While these possibilities may have been partially fueled by exaustion and may make you feel the need to send me for a brain scan, maybe they'll at least be somewhat entertaining:
1. The gnomes did it! When I was at school, various items, particularly kitchen accessories, kept disappearing. My crazy roommates and I decided that there must be mischeivous gnomes that kept stealing everything. Well, I've decided that the toothpaste gnomes are just as mischeivous, but in a different way. Instead of stealing my toothpaste, they slowly just keep adding a little bit more when my tube is actually empty, just to mess with my head. *Nervous twitch*
2. It must be magic. I clearly was the lucky purchaser of a magical tube of toothpaste. Every time the user thinks that it is about to run out, it magically refills itself to provide just enough toothpaste for that particular cleaning. How thoughtful.
3. A diabolical plot by the toothpaste marketing people. Marketing people wanted to trick consumers into thinking they were running low on toothpaste all the time to get them to buy more. The toothpaste people realized that a tube was the best dispenser for their product, so it was a win-win for them...but a headache for consumers. Joy.
It's now a few days after I snapped from bewilderment, and I am still on the same tube of toothpaste. I think that I'm finally nearing the end, but at the rate I'm going, the gnomes are probably adding more toothpaste right this moment.
Friday, September 16, 2011
The Problems with Technology
Now that I regularly commute in and out of DC, I've sadly become much like my fellow metro riders. Everyone else is always going too slow for my own pace, escalefters are the bane of my existence, and while I'm on the train, I don't talk to ANYONE. Not only that, I'm always attached to some sort of fun tech gadget, whether it's my phone or my newly acquired Kindle, burying myself in my own little world to ease the boredom of the long ride home (although even before the Kindle I will say I would bury myself in an actual BOOK). I often hear out-of-towners mention how strange it is that no one talks to each other on the metro during rush hour, but hey, that's just the way it is. In fact, I recently read an article in a local publication that joked about being stuck next to that person that just rambles on about random crap and won't shut up - no matter how many technological gadgets you pull out to try and ward them off.
The other day, I thought that I had found myself in just that situation. I had been texting with a friend to finalize plans for that evening and had pulled out my kindle to dive back into "Gone With the Wind." A few stops into my ride I spotted a prime seat open up near the door and quickly hopped up to grab it. When I sat down, the gentleman next to me, a man around my dad's age (who, I might add, seemed immersed in his own little gadget, headphones and all), said hello. I said hi back, then returned to the text I was in the middle of typing. Suddenly I heard, "How are you?" I politely returned a "Great, thanks," then quickly went back to my phone, attempting to employ the technological avoidance method I had read about in that article. Then, surprisingly, he continued to try to talk to me. "Can't he see that I'm trying to send a text and don't want to have a conversation?" I thought. Clearly he didn't, even as I had my kindle sitting open there as well.
Now, I know what you must be thinking, middle-aged man trying to strike up a conversation with a 22-year-old girl, kind of creepy. I thought so, too, I'm not going to lie, but he really didn't seem like a creep. After giving him a few short, just-trying-to-be-polite responses, I found myself getting into the conversation as well. After a while I realized, you know what, maybe I should just talk to this person a little bit instead of blocking out the world. Worst case scenario, if this guy did turn out to be a creep, I would just pretend I had to get off at the next stop and move away from him. As it turns out, we had a very interesting conversation. He worked for the Department of Defense and was studying Chinese on that little gadget he was carrying. He served in the military, worked with the Civil Air Patrol (which my dad was actually in), and even had a relative serve with the Tuskeegee Airmen in World War II. We had a very friendly conversation all the way back to Shady Grove, then got off the train and went our separate ways. He wasn't a creep at all, but instead just a kind gentleman that was simply looking to have a conversation. I never even learned his name, but he taught me a very important lesson that day.
Sure, technology can be great. It helps us stay connected with people all across the world at lightning fast speeds, both acquaintances and loved ones. But sometimes, we get so immersed in it that we forget about true human interaction. We forget how a simple "Have a great day" in passing can be just the right pick-me-up for a stranger having a bad day. We forget how a conversation in person can be so much more rewarding and pleasant than just communicating through electronics. We even forget about the telephone, another form of technology, but one that at least maintains a human element - so many people will send a text or email these days instead of picking up the phone and calling someone just to say hi. A truly painful loss is writing letters (yes, real snail mail), beautiful letters that hold so much more intimacy and which people put so much more of themselves into than a text or a message on Facebook. So slow down a little bit, take some time to catch up with an old friend or say hello to the person you ride the elevator with every morning. You never know how it could brighten someone's day, including your own.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Real Life 101: Intro to the Working World
So as you can see, I did not have as much time as I would have hoped to keep up with this blog throughout my final semester in college. But I guess that's not such a bad thing, that it's a sign that I really did have a good time. I must admit, my final semester was quite a blast. Actually, the entirety of senior year was a blast. While I didn't get to check off all of the items on my list from "It may be the end..." I still got through most of them and had a great time. Senior year was so great, in fact, that I had a much more difficult time leaving college than I always thought I would. The last month of school I was an emotional wreck (I was planning on writing about it, but I got a bit of writer's block...maybe it was God's sign that you all didn't need to hear about the crazy roller coaster). But now, even though I still (and always will) miss my friends and college, I've taken the next step to the real world and just finished my first full week at my new job.
The company I'm working for is basically a government contractor. My official job title? Project Support Specialist (sounds fancy, doesn't it?). I certainly can't say it's my dream job, but it does seem like a good place to start and I feel like I can learn a lot. The only down side as of right now is that it starts as a probationary intern period, so I'm getting paid, but not a full salary and no benefits. Luckily, I'm still living at home so I can manage, and even more luckily, I actually got a job. Every day I try and remember how blessed I am to have gotten something when so many of my friends are still looking.
So far, the first week has gone pretty well. I of course have no idea what's going on, but my colleagues are training me along the way and insist that it won't take long for me to get the hang of it. Everyone seems pretty nice, and I think I'll be able to adjust pretty well. But I must admit, I wasn't without my hesitations the first couple days. I realize there's a lot of work to get done, but no one seemed to say ANYTHING that wasn't work related. Not even "how was your evening yesterday?" And when someone wasn't talking about work, it was silent - no music, no conversation in the larger office that surrounds ours, nothing. Not only that, but no one had any pictures on their desk. We're currently in a square office with a blank wall and a white board with lots of numbers on it. We would have a great view of the city in our corner office with lots of windows, but it gets too hot so we have to keep some of the blinds closed. I thought I was going to lose my mind. Luckily, things turned around. Things got more relaxed with my coworkers and we actually got to talk about a few things other than work, I found out I could bring in pictures, and I may even be able to have a bit of music (final decision TBD). Looks like things are looking up.
For now, it doesn't seem too painful to be stuck in an office all day, but I think it's probably because I still have a lot to learn to keep it interesting. The reality is that this job looks like it'll keep me chained to my desk. I know I'll only be able to handle that short term, but I just have to keep reminding myself that I'll still be able to move on. Even before I started this job, I've been thinking about what I can do next, where I can go. I know I'm lucky to have a job in a crappy economy and we all have to start somewhere, and I'm fine with that. But I'm not going to let that stop me from following my dreams. I still want to see what my other career options are, still want to try living somewhere else. And yet, I'm still excited about this new start right now. I guess the most important thing to remember right now is this: we all have to start somewhere.
The company I'm working for is basically a government contractor. My official job title? Project Support Specialist (sounds fancy, doesn't it?). I certainly can't say it's my dream job, but it does seem like a good place to start and I feel like I can learn a lot. The only down side as of right now is that it starts as a probationary intern period, so I'm getting paid, but not a full salary and no benefits. Luckily, I'm still living at home so I can manage, and even more luckily, I actually got a job. Every day I try and remember how blessed I am to have gotten something when so many of my friends are still looking.
So far, the first week has gone pretty well. I of course have no idea what's going on, but my colleagues are training me along the way and insist that it won't take long for me to get the hang of it. Everyone seems pretty nice, and I think I'll be able to adjust pretty well. But I must admit, I wasn't without my hesitations the first couple days. I realize there's a lot of work to get done, but no one seemed to say ANYTHING that wasn't work related. Not even "how was your evening yesterday?" And when someone wasn't talking about work, it was silent - no music, no conversation in the larger office that surrounds ours, nothing. Not only that, but no one had any pictures on their desk. We're currently in a square office with a blank wall and a white board with lots of numbers on it. We would have a great view of the city in our corner office with lots of windows, but it gets too hot so we have to keep some of the blinds closed. I thought I was going to lose my mind. Luckily, things turned around. Things got more relaxed with my coworkers and we actually got to talk about a few things other than work, I found out I could bring in pictures, and I may even be able to have a bit of music (final decision TBD). Looks like things are looking up.
For now, it doesn't seem too painful to be stuck in an office all day, but I think it's probably because I still have a lot to learn to keep it interesting. The reality is that this job looks like it'll keep me chained to my desk. I know I'll only be able to handle that short term, but I just have to keep reminding myself that I'll still be able to move on. Even before I started this job, I've been thinking about what I can do next, where I can go. I know I'm lucky to have a job in a crappy economy and we all have to start somewhere, and I'm fine with that. But I'm not going to let that stop me from following my dreams. I still want to see what my other career options are, still want to try living somewhere else. And yet, I'm still excited about this new start right now. I guess the most important thing to remember right now is this: we all have to start somewhere.
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