Real Life 102: Being a Grown-Up is Confusing

It has officially been a little over two years since I graduated college, and life since then has been...eye-opening. It always amazes me how in every phase of your life, you have all sorts of older people telling you what things will "really" be like with your next step. Sometimes they're right, sometimes they're a little off, but more often than not you say, "Psht, silly Old Person, that's nonsense"  - only to eventually realize that they were in fact at least partially correct. You then quietly walk into the corner, put on your Dunce cap, and figure out what to do next.

These past couple years, I feel like I've been the dunce more than ever before - and I know that I'm definitely not the only one (far from it, in fact). Before post-grad life, everything is spelled out for you - you finish middle school, you go to high school. You're done with Brownies? On to juniors. Our successes and failures are defined by good grades and bad grades, awards (or lack thereof), and acceptance letters to schools and programs. In some form or another, everything seems, to some extent, to be laid out in black and white. Post grad life? Not so much.*

I, along with many of my friends and fellow 20-somethings, have hit a point where, for the first time in our lives, we're sitting here wondering about what comes next. We are officially the nobodies of the work force, trying to figure out how to work our way up and learn about some sort of positive contribution that we can, well...contribute (other than successfully loading the printer with paper, which can actually be a feat in itself sometimes). We wonder why our hard work doesn't produce instant results like it used to, and wonder what in the world we're doing with our lives. Where will I end up? What do I want to do in life? How do I have fun and maintain a job and bills? Why is it so much harder to make new friends?? TOO MANY HARD QUESTIONS I DON'T WANNA GROW UP!

When I studied abroad in Spain my junior year of college (and subsequently found myself ready to take on the world - oh the naivete), my friends and I went to go see Avenue Q on our trip to London. If you've already seen it, well then you're a step ahead of the game, will know what I'm talking about, and I officially give you 10 points to Gryffindor (or brownie points for life - whichever you prefer). If you haven't seen it, then 1. You totally should, it's an awesomely hilarious musical and 2. Don't worry, I'll give you a summary and will save your brownie points for when you do see it. Avenue Q is basically the grown-up version of Sesame Street, and centers around a character named Princeton and his hysterical journey to try and discover his purpose in life after college. Toward the beginning of the play, there's a song called "What do you do with a B.A. in English?" As an English major myself, when I first saw this play I thought, "That's not me! Being an English major isn't useless!" After college? Oh, how sadly true I found that song to be (at least the first part, I don't actually think that my life sucks). I suddenly found myself thinking, "Oh crap, that's totally my life right now..."

The thing is, there's tons of college prep courses and schools to get ready for university life. Sure, those courses can only do so much and college is still an adjustment, but at least there's something. There's nothing in college that seems to even attempt to prepare you for real life. Everything seems to be going pretty smoothly, then all of a sudden you leave school and wonder what in the world you got yourself into with this whole adulthood thing. This article on Buzzfeed that I found yesterday seems to sum it up pretty well: What You Think Life After College Is Like vs. Reality.



Plus, not only are you surprised by how difficult things are in your early 20s, but you wonder how long it's all going to last. When will things finally come together? Will I ever find the right career? What about my future husband? When in the world is he going to show up? How many things do I have to screw up before something finally goes right?

Luckily, Buzzfeed (in its infinite wisdom) posted another very good article that gives all of us 20-somethings a little sign of hope. It's called 19 Successful People Who Had A Rough Time In Their Twenties.

Wait...we don't have to have it all figured out right now? There's a chance for success later in life?? Who knew...

Now, I'm not saying that we should completely give up on our twenties. Not at all. We still need to do our best to figure it out and live life to the fullest. And who knows, maybe things will come together faster than we think. All I'm saying is that, if this confusing-beyond-belief period seems to drag on a little bit longer than we might like, that doesn't mean that things won't get better down the line. We "millennials" are used to instant gratification, and I think it's about time we learn a little patience and perseverance. We still have a lot to learn in life, and from what I've heard, our 20s are one of our biggest times for growth and learning. Whether it's with our relationships, our careers, our overall life plans...everything will come together in good time.

So to my fellow lost-and-confused 20-somethings out there -- chin up! All will be well, and we'll each figure everything out (or at least accept the fact that we may never figure it out) in our own time and way.

*As an added disclaimer, I obviously know that life has not been completely black and white and that everyone has their own experiences that can be exceptions. I'm just speaking in general terms on a high level, and based on how many of my peers also seem to find themselves feeling lost